Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
