This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
