btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
how do you play pong handcuffed?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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