Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
birth control should be required to get into college
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
