The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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