no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
