I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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