Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
