i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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