FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize