so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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