guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
