his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This is my gift to your gina
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
