she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
