Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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