I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
