I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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