cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
