Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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