I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
