we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
