i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
