Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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