my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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