Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
