If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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