Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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