I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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