SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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