I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
