hell yes lets make some ravioli
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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