i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
