I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
