I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
