I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize