You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
