i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
