We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
