She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
