Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize