Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
