Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
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