No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
