We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
