I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My penis needs a shock collar
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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