fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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