4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
