He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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