ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
