ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm having to shit out rocks
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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