you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
