omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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