Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
