I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
