Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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