i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So squirting runs in the family.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
