My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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