You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Boobs are out for the taking
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
