Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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