oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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