It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
