i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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