Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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