I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
