Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
