Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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