How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
