my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
