Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
