Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
