I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
someone threw a dead crab at me
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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