11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
